We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
