Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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