Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm really busy with my period
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