my phone needs a breathalizer
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
