My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
