just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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