DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
BRING THE BAGELS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
