Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
