WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
