i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
