Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
