Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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