If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
