you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
