she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
