Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
