whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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