The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
