She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
