respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
