you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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