She's JV to your varsity
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
