Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
