I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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