Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
