mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
