roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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