did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
