Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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