Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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