Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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