I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
