I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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