I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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