it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
