i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
