his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
