Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
