Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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