What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
