just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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