u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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