what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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