This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
