im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
