This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
