Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
