He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
