LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
