3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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