O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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