Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
